Sunday, 14 December 2014
Lived by the Unknown
I find myself in a state of frustration, wanting to write, wanting to communicate..... something ..... almost anything. What will be the 'out there' response? Will there even be a response? Yet this is not the major part of my frustration, even if it is any part at all. It is a pale reflection of the real source of my frustration which is about how will my inner, real Self respond. Will that part of me that has been termed the eternal Self even choose to respond?
I would not challenge the suggestion that that which we most love is that which we wish to know most about. I find the path to understanding and enlightenment can often be a struggle, and maybe an obstacle which is insurmountable. Sometimes the mountain seems to be too steep and too high. And I have never been content to live out my spiritual life on the practice slopes at the base of the mountain. When I read about the experiences of the truly mystic, I realise that in so many ways I am a simple man, and a man who is ignorant of so much that others speak of. Their words stir me, sometimes deeply, but still the barriers remain.
People talk knowingly of God, some believing and some disbelieving, but I do not know what they're talking about. If I say I accept the existence of God, I too am in difficulties when trying to explain what I mean. No words are available to describe my inner experiences, and sometimes that inability to describe something so utterly profound leads me into ways of communicating which may sound too flippant and uncaring. I regret that!
I probe my inner depths in an effort to discover that of which I am as yet unaware. What do I find on my inner journey? Very largely I find nothing. Let me try to be more precise because this is important to me. The deeper I go the more closely I feel I approach that state that has been described as the eternal Ground. Only there can that God which so many talk about, but which I cannot understand, be truly experienced. That experience promises to be as absolute and pure as it is possible to be, unalloyed by the presence of illusory perceptions generated by my ego. But there can be no-thing, no-where and no-when that is involved in this experience. If there were, my ego would be influencing the experience because it is the ego that experiences thing-ness, place-ness and time.
What is this eternal Ground about which the mystics speak? It is the place where non-spatially the soul, or very essence of what I am, and God are one or at least akin to one-ness. How can I explain? If I close an electrical switch, a circuit is made and a light comes on. Electricity is said to flow down the wire and power the lighting appliance. Therein lies an illusion. Electricity does not flow as if it were water. An electron bumps against its neighbour, then returns to its starting position. The bumped electron does the same thing to its neighbour, and so on. Electrical current is the effect of all that neighbour-bumping. And a very powerful effect it can be. Alternatively, consider what happens when a pebble is thrown into a pond. The water moves up and down as a reaction to the falling pebble. That is all it does. The non-material wave fronts that travel horizontally across the water surface are effects produced by the vertical movements, the rise and fall, of the physical medium, the water.
It seems to me that in many ways that which I call my soul, and God, are also effects generated on a no-thing, no-where platform or stage. Those effects I interpret as experiences of knowing, where the knower and the known are one. It has been said that music is not found in the substance of a musical instrument, but is the effect of 'playing' the instrument in a certain way. Similarly, neither my Ground nor God can be found in the substance of my physical body. They appear to me to be the combined effects of being lived by some ineffable unknown-ness.
Somewhere in the past I said that it seemed to me that the universe is Symbol. By this I meant that the only universe that I can know is the one that lives in my mind. And the mind/brain system deals in symbols. Of the 'out there' projection that is my physical universe, I can never be certain. Now it is thought that a little over 95% of the 'out there' universe is not simply invisible, but is unknowable to us, because it exists as Dark Matter and Dark Energy. That Darkness seems to be a telling symbol that represents just how little I really know and can know of my psycho-spiritual-(divine) universe. It is perhaps a source of wonder, not that there is still so far to go, but that I have gone anywhere at all.