Saturday 25 April 2015

Systems Analysis - Of a Kind

          The purpose of this pathworking was not to determine whether there was a problem to be addressed, but what the nature of that problem was. In combination with this meditation I carried out a series of contemplations - never easy for me - to elucidate further the nature of my problem.

..........After a while, I once more approached the garden, knocked, and entered. The Gardener walked beside me as once again I walked the familiar path away from the gazebo. I noted that there was something alien about the Gardener but this caused me no concern at all. I approached the point where the Nail was driven into the path, the Nail from which I had seemingly been released. Such symbols will arise from time to time, just like other memories or quotations perhaps, but they must not assume undue importance, dragging me towards a study of symbolic systems. They are not truth, only possible pointers to truth.
          A little further along the path, maybe a step or two, I saw that the pathway was flooded with water. In each flower bed on either side of the path was a small pool. However, the water which was designed to flow down from the left-hand pool to the right-hand pool by means of an underground conduit, was seeping across the path. The conduit appeared to be blocked. I also saw a cleared channel cutting across the path, as if that is how the connection between the pools should or must appear. The channel is invisible under normal conditions just as the Nail is invisible and had [has] to loose the tie that binds my ankle. Thus there seems to be a link between the blocked conduit and the tie to the Nail..........

          Finally, I am beginning to feel what is wrong, or at least what appears to be wrong. To begin with, the 'feel' of my surroundings is different; the Gardener is now somewhat alien, that is different from my normal apprehension of him. The future course of events must take me into stranger realms than I have yet visited. The presence of the Lion, not noted in this current pathworking description, is an indicator of my need for great strength of will, or courage, if I am to clear the blockage and move onwards.
          It was through my contemplative exercises that I began to see that I often take recourse to safe measures that are not taking me where I need to go. Over the years, as I have said elsewhere, I have studied "The Twelve Steps", some Transpersonal Psychology, the Mystical Qabalah as well as some studies into Christianity. All this has been backed by the reading of what others have said in their writings about the psycho-spiritual life, and how their experiences have gelled with mine. And there is a great deal of safety in remaining 'in orbit', so to speak, about the wisdom, knowledge and understanding expressed by others. In other words I need to break free of the 'systems' as laid down by others. That work was all about their experiences, interpreted in ways which they felt led to do. Those experiences were not, and can never be, mine. How beguiling it would be to act the part of a sheep, and follow the shepherd.
          Now it would be foolishness and hubris to discount what others have said, and that is not the way I intend to go. I have gained much from my studies, but they must be used only as stepping stones towards a greater goal, and one of which I am only now beginning to glimpse. To be candid, the thought of breaking free from my past is not one that rests easily and comfortably with me. Where once I might have attacked, now I must persuade; where once I might have used my spiritual weight to barge through obstacles, now I must tread delicately. The risk of pridefulness, and the consequent making of mistakes, is very real. Yet I cannot avoid the conclusion that useful though my past has been, it is no longer enough. There needs to be, yes a breakout, but also a refining of method and approach. The tools that have been used to good effect, must now be modified to deal with a subtler form of experience.
          I may not succeed, but if I refuse to knock, the door will never be opened to me. If I refuse to seek, I will never find. Yet 'success' is not really part of this enterprise. It never has been. That is mere ego-speak. The concept of success is meaningless, and that I must always bear in mind. I must remove my spiritual shoes which block my sense of the holy, and walk barefoot.

15 comments:

  1. The last paragraph really speaks to me, for me.... though my 'journey' may be a little different from yours....

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    1. Marja-Leena; Whatever your journey may be, may it be as joyful and fulfilling as it is possible to be.

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  2. Perhaps embracing failure. Going down below and falling face first.

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    1. Zhoen; Two points arise here. Perhaps pride does come before a fall, and I certainly fell in the imagery described the previous post. Pride is ever a stumbling block. The second point is that if success was never meaningful, can failure have any meaning? Perhaps to stumble is one way of coming face to face with reality, and that can't be bad.

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  3. I like your concept of removing your spiritual shoes to walk barefoot toward the holy.

    These past few weeks I've been re-reading Mistleberger's 'Three Dangerous Magi'. One interesting insight I came across was about levels of spiritual development described as follows:

    Our awakening proceeds something like an elevating 'sine wave', in which the entire wave is itself ascending. The peaks of the sine wave can be said to represent actual peak experiences, 'small awakenings'. The valleys represent a period of integration, in which we learn to apply the merits and wisdom of these peak experiences to our everyday life.

    The peak of an early wave is, in fact, at a lower point than a valley in a later wave. This suggests that as spiritual maturation and wisdom deepens we come to understand that peak experiences are themselves a type of illusion, at least inasmuch as they are not an accurate gauge of our overall level of understanding. Even dark nights of the soul, which often follow profound spiritual awakenings, can be of equal or greater value than the peak experience itself.


    It's a theory that struck me as being very relevant, particularly since my valleys tend to last for years.

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    1. Susan; I loved the way this comment and its quote from "The Three Dangerous Magi" put a new perspective on personal experience with such a sense of 'rightness.' There is no trace of success or failure in that quote, only different ways of learning and understanding the truth.

      The book to which you refer lies beside me on my desk, pleading to be picked up and read. Unfortunately, so do those in the adjoining pile. Thank you for the chivvy. :)

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  4. One does one's best and realizes that it is only piecework that one is doing because the outcome is not in our hands.

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  5. This is taxing me at this time but I am very interested ...

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    1. Julia; Thank you for your interest. May I also add that I regret the problems that you have suffered over the months, and trust you have a speedy recovery from your surgery.

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    2. Thank you for that Tom.Challenging times but hugely grateful for the love and support of people far and near which is a novelty for such an independent soul. :)

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  6. "I must remove my spiritual shoes which block my sense of the holy, and walk barefoot."
    Those words resonate and echo profoundly in me, Tom. If I haven't commented on your recent posts it's only because analyses, explanations and descriptions of inner experiences, however wise and/or beautiful, seem to me precisely like shoes which I'm currently unwilling to wear. Walking barefoot on that path is exactly what I'm aiming for and hope to be able to do for the foreseeable (and unforeseeable) future. Surely I'll see you strolling along the way!

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    1. Natalie; I seek understanding, and out of that understanding some wisdom. It's the way I am at present. I certainly hope we'll see each other strolling along the way; I certainly am of a mind to slow my pace. Here's looking out for you.

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  7. Hi Tom
    A veritable interesting mixture of ritual and symbolism which seems to keep evolving in your space and time, in the deeper autonomous level of your spiritual life, as you have generously shared with us. Maybe this process involves a merging of your known facets of science with the facets of your culture / life experiences in abstract meditative images to equal a spiritual reality? Because of that, in the end, perhaps it can never be a fully completed process? Yet it can be no less of a continuing joyful road to hoe in discernment or as they say maybe it’s all in the journey and not so much in the destination. Shoes of life to be experienced ,but not always able to be articulated, or taken off entirely or to go entirely bare feet, but facets will become clear, but all in good time.
    Best wishes

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    1. Hi Lindsay; I am certainly of the conviction that whatever my consciousness is in contact with in these inner conversations, great use is made of material from the perceived outer world as a means of symbolic communication. I have wondered from time to time if that might be the sole reason for the way we perceive the outer world as we do. As I have said before, the universe is symbol.

      I agree that perhaps it never can be a completed process, but then is any worthwhile conversation ever complete? It seems to me that all inner conversations leave open the possibility and even expectation of more to come. But as you conclude, all in good time.

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