Thursday 30 July 2015

Belief As a Gift

          What is the nature of belief? Of course one can get a definition of belief from the dictionary, but that is not what I am seeking. I am seeking something which seems to be indefinable. There appears to be no logical reason why one should hold this or that belief, although it does seem to me to require some intellectual, rational input to the search, if one hopes to arrive at a "right" answer. Without a fearless, candid appraisal of data supplied from one's experience there seems to be little chance of arriving at that answer whose origins lay in the realm of truth. However,  I must not stray too far into generalities about belief but move closer to something more specific.
          Over these last few weeks since my previous post, I have been assailed by thoughts, emotions and, in particular, moods that have caused me no little distress. I had reached a point of boredom with my inner work that had left me disappointed and frustrated. The causes of this state became clear enough when I realised my own ego was heavily involved. Yet I would not have wanted to avoid that descent into despair if it had meant that I would have lost a valuable lesson from the experience. Much of the experience of that descent I must leave for some possibly future post. At this moment I wish to concentrate on the experience of belief, noting that the word itself is unimportant, and may even be a hindrance to my understanding. Yet having said that, I immediately realise that I am not seeking any understanding, for that would be to indulge my ego once again.
          In the days of long ago when I first studied the "Twelve Step Programme", whilst recovering from the trauma of living with an alcoholic, there came a point when I "Came to believe......" Those three words are filled with a sense of wonder for me, not only because they were a part of a recovery journey but also because they hinted at a truth which only now am I beginning to see in a deeper sense. That experience followed an exhausting period during which I discovered, from an examination of my own experiences, just how powerless one is in the face of someone else's dysfunctional behaviour. And that was a good lesson to learn, not only for its own inherent value, but also because it now hints at a similarity with the experience of the quantum world. It may not be too big a jump to conclude that the principles that appear to rule quantum mechanics may also govern all human experience. However, to follow that train of thinking here would be to divert my attention from the purpose of this post.
          The experience of belief, particularly in the spiritual life, is not something that can be scrutinised too closely without it slipping out of awareness, only to return when attention is moved elsewhere. It's sheer uncertainty refuses one to pin it down. This conclusion obliges me to recognise that the gift of belief (and I do believe it to be a gift) comes from a realm of ultimate Reality, not from the closer realist world. And that implies that I do not generate my beliefs but accept them as inevitable consequences of right thought and inner actions, even possibly in an apparently non-related field, .
  In a somewhat roundabout way, and with a slight diversion into similarities with the realm of quantum thought, I am trying to get to grips with the idea that belief as something that I feel I own, as something self-generated, has in fact all the appearances of being something given to me from "elsewhere" which is pointing me towards mystical Truth, like a pointing finger which is not of itself Truth. Suddenly, belief and in particular belief in something divine, takes on a whole new dimension of wonder. I hold this precious gift in my hands, a gift which I must avoid egoistically owning as "mine", and try to accept it without grasping it; to observe it without focusing on it too deliberately; to meditate on it without resorting to mere words. I need to be prepared to lose this gift of belief so that I can remain in its presence.


20 comments:

  1. Hi Tom,
    Welcome back and I enjoyed reading your post. This is a question I have long pondered and it seems to me the more we contemplate our “Beliefs” throughout our life journey the more they tend to evolve into expanded understandings later on. This leads me to the conclusion our “Trust” or “Faith” (If I can call it that) is something quite different to our “beliefs”. However I can certainly appreciate why others would gave a contrary view and say they are inextricably linked, but I don’t think that is the case. Hence I think life as an experience does shape our beliefs although we can never quite put our finger on it. Maybe through grace (belief as a gift) we see light (as in enhanced understanding) emerging over time, just as the quantum state has gifted to us a greater understanding of the probabilities but leaves us with a deeper sense of mystery over reality.
    Best wishes

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    1. Hi Lindsay; Thank you for your welcome. Yes, I agree that beliefs are different from trust or faith. It would seem that trust and faith are our responses to the gift of belief. But, as you imply, a response is not necessarily forthcoming.

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  2. It is good to see my favorite physicist philosopher back. Though I'm still as mystified as I was by my college freshman Physics class, which caused me to change my major to Mathematics and a couple of years later to English. See? I'm just a simple English major looking for misplaced commas. But I enjoy your continued search, Tom.

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    1. Hi Catalyst; Thank you for this charming comment. I have to say that it revealed a little of something in me that I did not expect.......a tinge of vanity, perhaps?

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  3. What you've written here resonates deeply with my own experience, Tom. A month or two ago I typed out a passage from one of my books that I felt was significant enough to save and re-read from time to time. I'll share it with you now in the hope it bears a relationship to your own concerns.

    The Russian mathematician and esoteric colleague of Gurdjieff, Pyotr Uspensky said:

    “Suddenly I began to find a strange meaning in old fairy-tales; woods, rivers, mountains, became living beings; mysterious life filled the night; with new interests and new expectations I began to dream again of distant travels; and I remembered many extraordinary things that I had heard about old monasteries. Ideas and feelings which had long since ceased to interest me suddenly began to assume significance and interest. A deep meaning and many subtle allegories appeared in what only yesterday had seemed to be naive popular fantasy or crude superstition. And the greatest mystery and the greatest miracle was that the thought became possible that death may not exist, that those who have gone may not have vanished altogether, but exist somewhere and somehow, and that perhaps I may see them again.

    I have become so accustomed to think “scientifically” that I am afraid even to imagine that there may be something else beyond the outer covering of life. I feel like a man condemned to death, whose companions have been hanged and who has already become reconciled to the thought that the same fate awaits him; and suddenly he hears that his companions are alive, that they have escaped and that there is hope also for him. And he fears to believe this, because it would be so terrible if it proved to be false, and nothing would remain but prison and the expectation of execution.”

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    1. Oh Susan! Ouspensky speaks with such eloquence. Would that I had his words. There is much in what he says that evokes wonder and excitement, as well as hope. Yet there is also much that confounds the mind who tries to adhere to "adult" thinking. I fear that has been one of my egoistic traps.

      Thank you very much for passing on his words. Gwynt is collecting a veritable storehouse of wonder and wisdom.

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  4. A gift, not owned. To accept, not grasp for. It reminds me of seeing something out of the corner of your eye ... you've seen it, just not full on. A sense of mystery. Oh, I do hope I can appreciate this day in and day out. Thank you, dear Tom, for giving me much to ponder once again. Prost!

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    1. Hullo Rouchswalwe; When I was writing this piece, I too was reminded of the act of seeing out of the corner of one's eye. Mystery is such a little word to encompass what I am experiencing. Prost, my friend!

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  5. Pleased to see you back, Tom. I'm not going to read the other comments prior to making mine. I would not dare to make mine.
    -We experience you in a certain way because you are holding this gift. This precious gift multiplies and transfers to us.-

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    1. Ellena; What a lovely thing to say. And I'm pleased to be back.

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  6. Thanks for this Tom. I found it specially interesting after having myself brooded on belief and faith across two recent posts, with mixed results. I don't think I could have dared express what you have written, even if I'd managed to think something similar. To see what is self-generated and what is "from elsewhere" demands considerable observational and analytic powers. I can see how it's a slippery business.

    I wish you'd be able to write here more often, & maybe explore these things more closely. But it takes much effort, that's clear.

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    1. Hullo Vincent; I also wish that I was able, not only to write more often, but also to spend more time on my studies. But there are difficulties to deal with. First there is the ever-present perceived need to continue the house renovation, not to mention the maintenance of work already completed. More importantly, perhaps, there is the problem of over-focusing on what I am seeking. It is a very tiring process, of course, but often I find I have concentrated on 'the pointing finger' and not on that towards which the finger is pointing. Inevitably, the ego and its self-indulgent predisposition towards attachment comes into play, and I need to retrace my steps and clear the clogging-up that results.

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  7. welcome back. always glad to read about your inner journeys.

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    1. Thank you Agnieszka. I hope I can continue to interest you.

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  8. While watching our children and now our grandchild grow, it has been fascinating to observe this phenomenon; the development and expression of belief.
    It seems to me that it is the most natural process of our minds, this taking of experience and formulating rules that make some sense of it all, that create a sort of consistent and reliable basis for decision-making that is totally personal.
    Something that has bothered me so much about our modern media is this trend toward telling the populous what they should believe, rather than simply reporting what has occurred in the news.
    We who are hyper-vigilant (I can only speak for myself now), continue to refine and develop our collection of beliefs and from time to time when we feel it has become less useful, we completely revise it.

    Tom, oh yes, welcome back! I do love how your posts make my juices flow.
    Much love as always.

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    1. Hi Halle; Not a great deal I can add to your comment. I don't know what it is like on your side of the 'pond', except what you have just intimated, but as far as this side is concerned it would be better if I did not comment about the main news channels. One would not wish to descend into judgemental criticism. However, I am pleased to report that I do still have some hair left; it hasn't all been pulled in frustration.

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  9. Your post bears on recent personal experiences, my encounter with the unconscious mind that is the repository of all memory --but communicates mainly through the language of nature, symbols, totems-- and is unused to the job and tools of consciousness. Jung expressed such differences as the ego-driven individual encountering its shadow in pursuit of egoless individuation, becoming whole. The unconscious sometimes climbs out in dreams and needs to communicate, to be comforted and assured the conscious mind wants to help. Belief seeks wholeness, and because the whole mind exploits some sort of quantum coherence to navigate time and events, it's in our best interest to learn how it communicates with itself.

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    1. Hullo Geo; Thank you for this very interesting comment. As you may know, I am fond of the term "psycho-spiritual" when referring to matters on which I write. The reason for that is that I find a combined approach, utilising both psychological (as with your comment) and with what I hope is non-religious spiritual (my usual approach) aspects, usually gives me a more rounded access to the subject in hand. Perhaps a less wordy response would be that your comment gives me an alternative way at looking at belief, and for that I am grateful.

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  10. Tom, I've been away and therefore missed reading your two new posts when they appeared. Very happy to see that you're back "on stage" and sharing your thoughts with us. I wholly appreciate your reflections about belief, I only wish there was another word that could better express it. The associations that come up around the word 'belief' generally stray far from the meaning you have clearly perceived in it. They have to do with the kind of entrenched opinions and certainties that much of humanity has always used in order to justify every imaginable and unimaginable form of inhuman action, individually or collectively, whether from secular, religious or political beliefs. To ask any individual, any group or any society what they believe is to enter a minefield! So I admire your brave attempt to clear a path in the jungle!

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    1. Thank you Natalie. There will always be problems around language, how we use words, and what meanings we attach to those words. And therein lies an enormous difficulty when it comes to trying to communicate experience. One of those difficulties is the great personal attachments we generate for the words we use and the opinions we construct.

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