Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Never Say Never

         From time to time I run into that region that indicates I need a rest. At least, that is how I have interpreted it ...... until now. In the past, this feeling has resulted in a change of studies, a change or routine, or simply a rest from what I had been doing, such as blogging for example. When I look back on those earlier periods of inner drought, I do not feel displeased or unhappy that I took what I believed to be appropriate responses. Often there was much that I gained. However, in hindsight, there had to come a time when a totally different kind of response was required, perhaps a response which I should have made back then, if I could have been consciously aware of what what happening to my inner life.
         Of late I have been feeling curiously happy, even in the light of horrendous world events, as well as distressing news from friends. What is the reason for this happiness? I suppose the reason is anybody's guess, and some would suggest I do not examine things too closely. Just enjoy. I do think there is some justification for examination, if that examination does not mean testing to destruction. The fact is that of late I have had a strong sense of being pulled into a new awareness. When that awareness is examined, I find that my way forward has become very clear to me.
         When I look back over my previous posts, I find that there have been hints and nudges along the way about which I have not taken due account. I have recently felt a need to re-examine my feelings about what I write, what I write about, and how I feel about the responses my writing engenders. This I have done, at least as far as I think is needed to clarify my future path. Of course, that path is not really being decided by me. My conscious role is to follow where that path leads.
         Well, I am trying to follow where I think I am being led, and it would appear that my new direction is such that I can no longer post what is happening. It is all too personal, explorative and experimental, and no researcher publishes his/her experiences until fully explored. It also transpires that I need to take up once again those practices that have been so 'fit for purpose' in the past, and for which I am discovering a new enthusiasm. These include keeping a detailed set of diaries, daily meditations, contemplative imagery, and so on. This new work is, as far into the future as I can see, strictly between me and that which I am pleased to name as God.
         The number of posts that I write will be much reduced because I am not good at spending time writing about mundane interests. And in any case, others do the job so much better than I can. I cannot, nor would I choose to, say never again to blogging. On the other hand, I say that my present activities must take priority over every other activity. And I am looking forward to experiencing what may seem to be like a monastic order of the mind.

16 comments:

  1. Even monks had a refectory and a warming room in their monasteries, Tom. Sometimes they needed to relax and benefit from humankind. Treat future blog posts similarly.

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    1. Yes Fr. Avus. Heard and understood. :)

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  2. There is, after all, Indian cuisine (love the looks of that fried eggplant if I can just get it past SWMBO), the Northern Lights in Iceland, and other mundane pleasures. But I remember reading a book some years ago about solitude and the pleasure and mindfulness it can bring. So, friend Tom, continue to enjoy your explorations and let us know how it's going from time to time.

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    1. Thank you Bruce; I don't intend to enter a totally silent order. :)

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  3. Hi Tom
    Best wishes for the future and I sure you will continue down the path as is intended. Sounds like your inner sense of purpose is happy in the knowledge that maybe it’s time to explore new frontiers from some of those old pathways now seen from a new light / but let the snippets flow as you see fit.

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    1. Hi Lindsay; I must say that I find it quite moving that people who comment here continue to want 'the snippets to flow' as per usual. I will bear that request in mind. I do not yet know, obviously, where this new voyaging will lead: I do know that this urge must no longer be ignored. In past instances, I had the excuse of being unaware. I no longer have that excuse.

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  4. Tom, I admire your ability, and willingness, to describe and share your inner states - like a kind of spiritual weather report. This is proof of your generosity and openness and you must never doubt its beneficial effects on all who are lucky to be within its reach. Myself included of course.

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    1. Hullo Natalie; Thank you for this comment. I must confess to being a little surprised, but thankful nonetheless.

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  5. Good to know that we will all occasionally pop up in your thoughts and be gifted with a post. Stay well dear Tom.

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    1. Dear Ellena; It would be too difficult to stop all communication with people I have come to consider e-friends. Even to set myself on the current path is difficult enough, but I feel I must. I intend to stay as well as I can, both physically and spiritually. And in your best wishes for others, make sure you think of yourself also.

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  6. you will be missed. perhaps the odd email? but take the time you need and follow the path that is opening up before you. as always, i am in awe of your self-discipline and your commitment to this journey.

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    1. Hullo Agnieszka; Thank you for so much. Certainly, I am not going into retirement; just becoming more focussed on my inner work. I hope to drop a note here from time to time, and I will always make time to answer anyone who contacts me.

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  7. and always remember to smile:

    A man joined a monastery where the monks were only allowed to speak two words a year, and those to the abbot. At the end of each year they were given an audience and said their two words. Naturally they were expected to be something along the lines of ‘Jesus loves’ or some other eternal truth. However at the end of his first year the novice offered, ‘Bed hard’ and at the end of the second year, ‘Food bad’ and at the end of the third year his two words were, ‘I quit’.

    ‘I’m not surprised,’ said the abbot, ‘you’ve done nothing but whinge ever since you came here.’


    Best wishes, my friend.

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  8. Might I suggest that you mix your inner work with the outer? My experience indicates that the answers we seek are within, but just inside the door, where the literal world is at ready reach. Avoid going deep into the cellar to dig for treasure, because you'll never see the trees or sky down there.

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    1. I will bear that in mind. Often it means giving undivided attention, and thus, seemingly, allowing that which I need to see to simply 'leak out.'

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