..........It feels like a dream, yet I do not seem to be asleep. I am out of touch; my senses cannot respond to the physical world around me. I cannot see, hear, small, taste or feel, but I know there are those outside me that are trying to make contact. To them I must seem to be comatose, a human vegetable. A little sadness perhaps? A vestige of outer consciousness; nothing more. A twinge of fear, even; not that kind of fear.
I am quite alone, beyond the realm of time. Ahead of me there is a great Infinity of Darkness. It and I are one; we are all that Reality Is; we are Mind..........
It is 3 o'clock in the morning; two of-the-clock GMT. I was dreaming, yet awake. There had been a disjoint between experiencing the Infinity of Darkness and the visual "explanation" that followed. I had to get up from my bed and write it all down before I forgot the memory of the experience. I carried my sleepy body through the quiet, darkened house and switched on the computer. So bright. I began to write, or scribble, from the keyboard. This is what I wrote, without editing:-
..........What is "wrong truth"? What is "right truth" come to that? The questions make no sense to me; they are simply what they are. They are Truth. Truth can only be experienced. I don't know how often I can say that before the very words "Truth" and "experience" become gobbledygook, meaningless from continued use.
It is like flying, a lone passenger in an aeroplane, and looking out through a near-circular window. Outside the window there are clouds, events in time. They pass by my viewing port because they are caught in time; and time passes. I see the passing of temporality, then suddenly the aeroplane seems to halt in mid-air. There is no stumbling, falling or loss of balance, no sense of inertia, because inertia belongs to the physical realm, and I am in a waking dream, puzzling over the meaning of Truth. The aeroplane is stilled, and the outside passing-bys have stopped. I see a view, framed by the window of my consciousness. I see an aspect of an experience that has movement but no passing; experience which does not pass on, or pass away.
In attempting to "see" or understand, rather than experience from beyond my senses, I attempt to straitjacket, in time, the eternal, the essential "is-ness" of Truth. I attempt to limit the vastness and wonder of some non-thing to within the compass of the window-frame, my everyday consciousness of temporality. It is too big for that. To limit Truth to my consciousness is to attempt to ensnare it. When I try to do that, the aeroplane in my imagination moves on again, and I am left only with a memory, a memory of an experience which is ineffable, ineffable, ineffable.
But just for a few moments released from time, I knew........ Just for a few moments, released from time, I made some form of non-sensing contact with that which is of my very foundations. That is where Truth is experienced, but as if it lies immediately before my eyes. Truth is divine, and for a short time, outside time, I watched.........
And so back to bed. The physical, temporal world still has its pleasures......the shared animal warmth of a cosy bed......and I can sleep in peace, for the morning is yet far distant.
i am so grateful for these gifts, these glimpses, these small flashes of light. if nothing else, these last two months have made me more aware of how precious these moments of perception are, more so for the fact that they cannot be sought out, ensnared, circumscribed. well written, as always.
ReplyDeleteAgnieszka; Thank you. I am so pleased that in sharing the memories of my experiences, others stand a chance of gaining something from them also.
ReplyDeleteIt made me think of travel in outer space and how time is shortened. Or is it lengthened. And how something that happened many years ago is just now being seen by astronomers here on Planet Earth. I don't pretend to understand it any more than Truth. I'm glad your dreams are full of these introspections and that you write so well about them.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bruce. More and more I am coming to the view that understanding is less important than experiencing. Somehow the experiences of which I write (coupled with intent) have effects on one's inner life that understanding cannot achieve. It is an area of thought and investigation that I find quite fascinating.
ReplyDeleteThat was truly an inspiring vision you've described, Tom. I can think of no more to say but to thank you for sharing your wisdom.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan.
ReplyDeleteTom, I'm catching up on what you've posted since I've been away and it's good to see that you're continuing to give us plenty of food for thought.
ReplyDeleteIt seems rather self-centered to bring up an experience of one's own when replying to another person's experience but that's what I immediately wanted to do when I read these words:
"..I cannot see, hear, small, taste or feel, but I know there are those outside me that are trying to make contact. To them I must seem to be comatose, a human vegetable."
Because that is precisely what happened to me (not in a dream but in real life) years ago when an anti-typhoid injection put me into a sort of 'coma' during which I underwent a kind of spiritual rebirth. Too much to put into a comment but I'll tell you about it one day.
Many thanks for your always nourishing thoughts.
Natalie; Welcome back; I have missed your experiential comments.
ReplyDeleteJust for a few moments, released from time, I made some form of non-sensing contact with that which is of my very foundations.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm thinking of Helen Keller.
Rouchswalwe; I don't know much of Helen Keller's story, but she was deaf and blind I believe. To lose all one's senses in the wakening, out-there world must be truly fearful. But cut off from those senses opens up a whole new world of experience - of Truth, if you will.
ReplyDelete