Sunday, 14 December 2014
Lived by the Unknown
I find myself in a state of frustration, wanting to write, wanting to communicate..... something ..... almost anything. What will be the 'out there' response? Will there even be a response? Yet this is not the major part of my frustration, even if it is any part at all. It is a pale reflection of the real source of my frustration which is about how will my inner, real Self respond. Will that part of me that has been termed the eternal Self even choose to respond?
I would not challenge the suggestion that that which we most love is that which we wish to know most about. I find the path to understanding and enlightenment can often be a struggle, and maybe an obstacle which is insurmountable. Sometimes the mountain seems to be too steep and too high. And I have never been content to live out my spiritual life on the practice slopes at the base of the mountain. When I read about the experiences of the truly mystic, I realise that in so many ways I am a simple man, and a man who is ignorant of so much that others speak of. Their words stir me, sometimes deeply, but still the barriers remain.
People talk knowingly of God, some believing and some disbelieving, but I do not know what they're talking about. If I say I accept the existence of God, I too am in difficulties when trying to explain what I mean. No words are available to describe my inner experiences, and sometimes that inability to describe something so utterly profound leads me into ways of communicating which may sound too flippant and uncaring. I regret that!
I probe my inner depths in an effort to discover that of which I am as yet unaware. What do I find on my inner journey? Very largely I find nothing. Let me try to be more precise because this is important to me. The deeper I go the more closely I feel I approach that state that has been described as the eternal Ground. Only there can that God which so many talk about, but which I cannot understand, be truly experienced. That experience promises to be as absolute and pure as it is possible to be, unalloyed by the presence of illusory perceptions generated by my ego. But there can be no-thing, no-where and no-when that is involved in this experience. If there were, my ego would be influencing the experience because it is the ego that experiences thing-ness, place-ness and time.
What is this eternal Ground about which the mystics speak? It is the place where non-spatially the soul, or very essence of what I am, and God are one or at least akin to one-ness. How can I explain? If I close an electrical switch, a circuit is made and a light comes on. Electricity is said to flow down the wire and power the lighting appliance. Therein lies an illusion. Electricity does not flow as if it were water. An electron bumps against its neighbour, then returns to its starting position. The bumped electron does the same thing to its neighbour, and so on. Electrical current is the effect of all that neighbour-bumping. And a very powerful effect it can be. Alternatively, consider what happens when a pebble is thrown into a pond. The water moves up and down as a reaction to the falling pebble. That is all it does. The non-material wave fronts that travel horizontally across the water surface are effects produced by the vertical movements, the rise and fall, of the physical medium, the water.
It seems to me that in many ways that which I call my soul, and God, are also effects generated on a no-thing, no-where platform or stage. Those effects I interpret as experiences of knowing, where the knower and the known are one. It has been said that music is not found in the substance of a musical instrument, but is the effect of 'playing' the instrument in a certain way. Similarly, neither my Ground nor God can be found in the substance of my physical body. They appear to me to be the combined effects of being lived by some ineffable unknown-ness.
Somewhere in the past I said that it seemed to me that the universe is Symbol. By this I meant that the only universe that I can know is the one that lives in my mind. And the mind/brain system deals in symbols. Of the 'out there' projection that is my physical universe, I can never be certain. Now it is thought that a little over 95% of the 'out there' universe is not simply invisible, but is unknowable to us, because it exists as Dark Matter and Dark Energy. That Darkness seems to be a telling symbol that represents just how little I really know and can know of my psycho-spiritual-(divine) universe. It is perhaps a source of wonder, not that there is still so far to go, but that I have gone anywhere at all.
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I think it is very hard to write about the spiritual, at least for me. It's like trying to put into words something very ephemeral. I admire your struggles in trying and in succeding, it seems to me.
ReplyDeleteHullo Marja-Leena; I too find it difficult. Sometimes it seems as if I need to try to put it into words, to give it my best shot as they say, so that in attempting the seeming impossible I learn to listen, and then to hear. If you see success in my posts, I thank you for telling me so.
DeleteI, too, admire your struggle though some (often) times I think "why is he searching so?" But then lately I've been thinking about the oceans and their waves and their tides and wondering why and how it is they do what they do. Tidal forces in the ocean are as much a mystery to me as your spiritual search seems to be to you.
ReplyDeleteHullo Bruce; It isn't easy to be specific about the reasons I search, but I will try to give you a flavour. But first, would you ask this question of scientists seeking to know the universe better? Would you ask this question of medical researchers seeking a cure for a disease? Would you ask this question of a philosopher, or a politician, or whoever, seeking a solution to a difficult social problem? I suspect not.
DeleteWhen first I discovered a whole new inner world, after having lived through three devastating years with a woman with advanced alcoholism (and the rest!), I realised I had stumbled onto something of which I had had no previous intimations. It was as if all my life up to that moment at forced me to a new realisation, and one on which I could not turn my back.
It seemed to me that after a life spent in research, I had discovered the greatest scientific experiment available.....me! What I entered into was not a navel-gazing, narcissistic fantasy but a new way of living that was fully open-eyed, spiritually healthy, with a promise of experiencing life at a new and more fundamental level. The beauty of it all was that I could reach out for that without turning to religion, or any other such. What I seek is that which underlies all religions and spiritual philosophies, not to mention the more esoteric aspects of science.
As I said, when you love something and someone enough, you want to discover all you can about that focus of your love.
Hi Tom
ReplyDeleteWhat is strikingly apparent to me from many of the mystics is the similarity in ideas about oneness and the sacred interdependence for all living things. Another is their practical philosophies as being available to all regardless of belief, to be simply experienced by engagement in mind and spirit.
Best wishes
Hi Lindsay; I think you have put your finger exactly on a crucial point. Spirituality is essentially practical. I will say no more here because you have already expressed that thought so beautifully.
DeleteI suspect even the eternal self can't express eternity to itself --or need to-- beyond cautions to be good. Don't worry about difficulties explaining belief in God: we are ants trying to explain democracy. As to the electrical conductivity and ripple-effect metaphor, it is the interference patterns that create new events --same as in our brains, which also exploit quantum coherence, and keep 90-95% of activity in the dark from us. In short, you're on the right track.
ReplyDeleteHullo Geo; Thank you for your comment. The support it gives me is much appreciated.
DeleteThat 95% of everything is Dark makes a very interesting philosophical concept to ponder. I'm reminded of the distinction made in Gnosticism between the highest God and the Gods of manifestation. The highest or Unknown God can never be described because our finite minds are wholly unable to comprehend its nature. It can only be described in terms of what it is not.
ReplyDeleteThe material creation, although a reflection of the Unknown God, can never be called perfect. Therefore we have an uncreated sphere of unity and perfection and a created sphere of physical manifestation. As you've said so many times, the light of the Higher Self is deep inside of us.
It's a bit too late now for me to find a Master and then spend ten years watching how he behaves before asking to be his student. What seems more likely is that I'll continue my meditation program, say my prayers, and hope for the best.
Dear Susan; If you took 'ten years watching' you might well find he had feet of clay. A good teacher might well forewarn you. If it is true - and I believe it is - that in the end we will find that which we honestly seek, we are on the right track. No genuinely loving 'Otherness' will turn its back on an honest seeker.
DeleteYou had me at the first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteLanguage fails me constantly, but if I use the word "ineffable" too often, I stop making the attempt. For some reason, I feel compelled to make the attempt.
Your travels, chronicled here are always helpful. Thank you Tom.
Hullo Halle; It is such a joy when someone is able to take something of value to them from what I write. In truth, there are times when I look back over what I have said and ask, "Did I really say that? Where did that come from?" So whilst as I say, responses such as yours give me joy I am aware that...... I think you understand me well enough.
Delete"...I realise that in so many ways I am a simple man, and a man who is ignorant of so much that others speak of. Their words stir me, sometimes deeply, but still the barriers remain.
ReplyDeletePeople talk knowingly of God, some believing and some disbelieving, but I do not know what they're talking about. If I say I accept the existence of God, I too am in difficulties when trying to explain what I mean."
Tom, sometimes you are your own teacher and the answers are one with your questions.
I've quoted the above because that is exactly how I feel too. In the inner dialogue that constantly goes on between the Knower and the Seeker within us, I think that the Seeker often forgets or mistrusts the answers which appear in that dialogue. Maybe it's much simpler than we think .
Dear Natalie; Not for the first time you seem to have shone a light into my very soul. If we choose to travel alone, we will find an inner teacher. Of that I am pretty certain. So why do I not listen, but instead try to complicate things? Probably because I do not realise, cannot see, that 'it's much simpler than we think.' It seems to be inherent, at least in my thinking (as I recall from my student days), that what is being taught must by its very nature be difficult to grasp. When facing a relatively simply situation, the urge to see difficulties, even where none exist, remains. As I recall, Jesus once said, "My yoke is easy, my burden is light." I will ponder more on your comment, and see where it takes me. Thank you.
Deletei want you to know that i read your blog regularly but comment seldom simply because i am in awe of the depth of your thinking, and find myself to be a flighty shallow thing, seemingly unable to comment in any way that would contribute to the conversation, but still, i keep coming back because of the way you write about your journey. food for thought, every single post. thank you.
ReplyDeleteDear Agnieszka; Of course I enjoy reading erudite remarks about what I write, and although I do not write in order to receive comments, I would greatly miss input from 'out there'. Having said that, I find your comment immensely supportive, to learn that one is not being ignored or rejected out of hand. May I also add that it tickled me pink to learn - from another source - that I am considered to be a 'handsome shredder operator' (:-).
Delete