I seek truth, through inner experience, but not as a religious. It just so happens that there is a large body of writing that recalls the words of many who have sought, and continue to seek, truth - the most authoritative of which (or so it is claimed) can be found in holy writ. For me, that is a great resource but one which demands a critical approach. Any other approach, a fervent belief in the words, is nothing more than idolatry. As I have said elsewhere, truth does not reside in words but comes from experience about which all words are inadequate. Prayer and meditation, designed to improve my conscious contact with God, is my way forward. I should say at this point that my use of the word "God" is one of convenience since my belief in that which carries that name is more about what God Is Not, rather than what Is. So let's not get hung up over mere words.
I suppose it is generally known that the current period in the Christian calender is the period of Lent (the 2nd. Sunday thereof), and I am finding this a fascinating period. Why? Because I feel a desire to assess where I am, what I deeply feel and think, why I feel and think in this way, rather than assess where I have been in the past. Of course I cannot put any of that, adequately, into words. In any case, it is all too personal. What I will do, however, is quote what I wrote in my personal diary for this morning, and that is personal enough:-
"..........And I too, allowed myself to be taken up the mountain where I saw symbolic representations of the Law and of Action. I can escape neither! "Stop the world I want to get off" is like whistling in the wind. The universe is subject to a set of scientific-psychospiritual laws - the Law. There are ways of Being and Acting that are in tune with the Law, and ways that attempt to counter - unsuccessfully - the Law. For even in attempting to break the Law, action triggers reaction, and that of itself is in accordance with the Law, one formulated in physics by Sir Isaac Newton.
There is no escape, and no way of not acting. What a fearful, terrible responsibility that imposes, particularly as all too often I allow my ego to determine what action is appropriate. Yet when I climbed the mountain of transfiguration, I realised that I was taken up. It was not that state I call my ego that took me up. The power that raises and transfigures is the power that is the Christ, or at least what some religious have named as the Christ. Yet even then, the experience of my apparent understanding was overshadowed by the great "cloud of unknowing." And "it was good to be there!" (Luke 9:32-34) If I do not speak of the actual experience, it is because I cannot do so. Talking about the essential experience, the truth, is beyond me. Only the setting, the background, is within the realm of words.........."
When I am back at ground level, on terra firma, once again, I wonder how I dare speak of this morning. And I shudder at the possible lack of wisdom that has seemed to impel me to write in this way. There may be reasons that I cannot yet see, may never see. But right now, it is all that I have to give.
"...the most authoritative of which (or so it is claimed) can be found in holy writ. For me, that is a great resource but one which demands a critical approach. Any other approach, a fervent belief in the words, is nothing more than idolatry. As I have said elsewhere, truth does not reside in words but comes from experience about which all words are inadequate."
ReplyDeleteAll I can do is to echo these words of yours, Tom, and to be silently respectful of the experience you have had.
Hullo Natalie; Just to read/hear you at all is enough.
Delete"But right now, it is all that I have to give."
ReplyDeleteThat's all anyone could ask, I think.
Your post made me think of Dr. King's famous speech the day before he was assassinated in Memphis. He spoke of going to the mountaintop, of seeing what his path was. I had always presumed he was speaking metaphorically, in reference to a decision he'd made that required he separate himself from the rest of the world, like Moses when he climbed Mt. Nebo. Maybe, though, Dr. King had had an experience similar to yours.
I read your post earlier, this morning, and thought about what you wrote several times throughout the day. To be able to get out of yourself, your ego, to be open to whatever comes so that such an experience can take place, is a great and terrible gift. How cool that you were taken up, no matter how you got there.
Hullo Martha; Thank you for this comment. A terrible gift it is indeed. I think that all too often, the instinctive, egoistic process of getting on with life is preferred to the thoughtful approach, very largely to avoid falling over our moral feet. Yet there is a place and time for all things. Simply relying on one approach - because it requires little or no thought and commitment - does not always serve us well. Everything we do has a consequence, and those consequences and experiences need to be faced and accepted. And that can be a terrible ordeal. But then I suspect I am speaking (but never preaching) to the converted.
DeleteNot for the first time I find myself escaping to books this winter. I love to read, to enmesh my consciousness in alternate realities, to find similarities between my own experience and that of described characters. I go from one book to another, reading everything written by favorite authors and savoring new work. I'm even re-reading the books that reside in the bookcase devoted to the scientific and metaphysical. Sometimes I feel a frisson of realization. Still, I know I'm hiding.
ReplyDeleteIndeed Susan, there is a season for everything. This winter I have moved away from literary pursuits of the spiritual kind, and immersed myself in painting books, paints and brushes. I am determined......!
DeleteSince the mind seeks ever-increasing areas of organization, it runs contrary to the entropic arrow of time. Anomalies are not long tolerated by the universe, but in our case, allowed to recur. There must be a reason for this. It is a great mystery. In both physics and spirituality, the universe does not dispose of a mystery, so it is probably in our best interest to remain one.
ReplyDeleteQuite so, Geo! Unless, of course, what appears to be an anomaly is simply an event following laws we have not yet divined. From the point of view of the universe, therefore, there is no mystery, and has no need to dispose of that which does not exist.
DeleteHi Tom
ReplyDeleteOne of the attributes of having a christen calendar I think is it promotes a natural rhythm or theme for contemplative practices - just as naturally as the changing seasons may give us cause to reflect.
So it seems spiritually you have encountered a mystical binding experience which exceeds the artificial boundaries imposed of language- by simple necessity.
Hence it is only a mystery in my view because we are not privy to that state or existential dimension which gives rise to such experiences.
As you know in the quantum world all of the mystery might unravel once we have the information( which we may never have because it lies outside of our dimension)provided you agree information represents reality. Best wishes
Hi Lindsay; It does seem that I am slipping into a pattern of life that feels natural, but not necessarily familiar, yet. I think this coincides with what you are saying here. It does all feel rather wonderful but also rather scary, being on the boundary of the terrifying unknown. But that is where life is lived at its most rewarding.
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