I see a vast flock of birds sweeping and swirling; I see downward flashes of lightning; I see a bedraggled spider floating by me; I see sharply etched spots of black, jagged pressure waves, and I see the universe beginning to split to reveal a vast blackness beyond.
Now in the world of the spiritual, detachment is good but, by way of a corollary, attachment is not good. Of course detachment does not mean lack of caring and loving. Often it means a non-self-identifying intensification of loving. However, before I get drawn into that subject too far, let me say that there is one case which springs to mind where detachment is not good and attachment is good, even highly desirable. I'm talking here of one's retinas. (Or should that be retinae?)
Thus it was that when being entertained by the viewings mentioned above, I began to feel a modicum of concern about my eyesight. A quick call to the "polyclinic" and an appointment was made for the same afternoon. I learned from the specialist that I was not about to have retinal detachment (and I assumed that I was not about to fall into the Divine Abyss, which was something of a relief as we are moving back into our home at present!)
I am developing sacs behind my implanted lenses which are causing (apparently) the strange effects I am observing. So, it's laser surgery next week on one eye, to be followed by similar treatment on the other, a week later. This development is not unusual about eighteen months to two years after cataract surgery. I just hope this kind of maintenance surgery doesn't get to be a habit. I know I can be a driven person on occasion, but if I cannot see properly Lucy gets to be the driving force. As it happens, I am permitted to drive, so long as I take care.
I think I am beginning to witter on. Must be the relief of moving back into our home, now vacated by the electrical artisan. Yes, he finished with mere hours to spare! And I also must finish.
Laser surgery awhile after cataract surgery is to be expected. It is entirely painless, takes only seconds and, according to my opthamologist, never has to be done again. "Floaters", though, are a consequence of aging, he tells me, and there is nothing to be done for them. Mine come and go so if they're really bothering me at any given time I just take a nap. (Any excuse for a nap, at my age.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the surgical support...so to speak. On the question of 'floaters', what is concerning me about them is that I must have aged a couple of decades over the last three days for them to get this bad. I don't take naps; I meditate. :)
DeleteSorry to hear about your eyes. Perhaps the stress of the fire and moving about contributed a bit? Best wishes with the surgery, Tom!
ReplyDeleteWho can say, Marja-leena? We must be born to suffer; and Job thought it had it tough. :)
DeleteArtistic sacs you got there. May you be attached or not, depending on the appropriate situation.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for a nap. Hated them as a kid, but I grew into them - about age 30.
I also detested having to have a nap as a child. When I eventually learned something about meditation, I had a better excuse for shutting my eyes. Who could tell?
DeleteTom, I pray that you and the universe will be firmly and lovingly attached after the lasers have done their job. Your retinal light-shows sound quite intriguing but also worrying and hopefully you'll be rid of them after the intervention. Very best wishes for your good health. Great news that you're back in your own house.
ReplyDeleteThank you Natalie. One must find one's entertainment when one can. There is, however, that niggling feeling that it might be a little more serious than it appears. When it turns out that it wasn't so serious, one can always laugh and say that 'well I didn't really think.......'
DeleteHi Tom,
ReplyDeleteRather unnerving for sure (I have some floaties and see flashes at night myself) but I think Catalyst is on the ball and I additionally endorse all the previous comments. Just to add my perspective as I understand it it’s a a fairly common condition to develop, which, once fixed, would normally then need no more intervention or exhibit long term problems. It’s an entirely painless procedure to treat posterior lens capsule opacification usually in an outpatient clinic to take about 15 minutes all up.
You may find over time the brain will get used to the increased level of floaties and spider webs to ignore them once you have convinced yourself they pose no harm. At least that has been my experience and I hope and pray it very soon will be yours.
Best wishes
Hi Lindsay; Well next Wednesday I will gird up my loins and travel to my fate. I am sure you and Catalyst are perfectly correct. I say, I do like 'posterior lens capsule opacification'. Something one can get one's teeth into.
DeleteVision disturbances can be scary, Tom - particularly when you have already experienced optical surgery. Makes one realise how important is one's sight!
ReplyDeleteAvus, for me sight is the pre-eminent sense. I could not bear to be without it.
DeleteOh, I have been experiencing such symptoms too!
ReplyDeleteI was sent to the hospital's emergency eye clinic to be dilated and examined and told that it's an age-related thing. Something to do with the eye ball shrinking.
I'm kind of used to the cobwebs now, and the flashing lights, just thankful it wasn't, as I had feared, a brain tumour because that's always a threat now
Good luck with your treatment!
Hullo Julia; Brain tumours I could assuredly do without at this time; actually, at any time! Thanks for your good luck.
Deleteand here i thought you were following me into a post-apoalyptic vision. alas, tis your retinas. i wish you quick healing!
ReplyDeleteHullo Agnieszka; I did do my best, but it would appear that post-apocalyptic-vision is not on today's menu. I'll keep an eye out for you, just in case post-apocalypticism hoves into sight and makes life more interesting.
DeleteTom, my favorite photographer was declared legally blind 10 years ago, yet her remaining sight and inquisitive mind have served her intuitive skills quite well. Her current photos appear in most of my blog posts. There are strengths in us we don't understand right away. I don't pretend to, but know they are at work. All my best wishes to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Geo. I feel both humbled and uplifted. Bless your favourite photographer. Long may she inspire your writing.
DeleteWhen I complained of floaters an opthamologist offered to drain my the aqueous humor of both my eyes and allow them to refill. What! I decided I'd be happy enough to put up with them as they now are.
ReplyDeleteCataract surgery is excellent these days. Good wishes for your speedy recovery.
That does sound a rather dodgy undertaking!! Thanks for your good wishes, Susan.
Delete