At the very heart of life, at the very ground of our being, there is a place beyond flesh and blood, beyond muscle and sinew, a place that is wholly spirit. Push open the door to her realm and she shines out like white, unconsuming fire. She is Wisdom/Discernment. If I try to close the door behind me and still remain in her presence, I discover that I am returned to a place outside, shut off and waiting to enter. The door must remain open. So once again I push open the door to her realm and wait on the threshold. And it seems to me that all my life has been spent at this point, waiting on the threshold, in some liminal space that exists between what was before this life and what will come after. Now is the time to prepare, with all my strength, for I may not pass this way again.
This year has seen some horrendous events take place, as well as some that seem to shut the door on hope. I would suggest that many of the latter seem to have opened the way for some people to pour out their racist bile, their intolerance of anything that does not fall within their restricted, limited view of life. Yet that stuff has always been there. It is that now, buoyed up and seemingly justified by others who feel and think in the same way, that there has been a reported outpouring of abuse that shows up a world that is far less than it could be.
But perhaps there is value in the surfacing of all that we might like to ignore and keep hidden. In a sense, many have "come out" and shown the world how truly uncaring, unkind and contemptuous they are; how each of us could be - if we are honest with ourselves. For my part, I must at all times keep the door to Sapientia open. I must remain aware. Every little unkindness, every little slur, every negative little act or thought dwelled upon, simply adds to the steady drip that will lessen me from what I can be.
But there is yet hope. Not all is doom and gloom. People can rise to tremendous heights of loving-kindness and ego-denial. All too often those beacons become dimmed to our eyes under the welter of bad news that some enjoy making, and the media determined to peddle. We are in the habit of dividing our lives into discrete blocks, when in fact we are passing through a continuum with no breaks. So now is the time to do what must be done; not in six days time. Now is the time to begin again and yet again. The time is coming when the threshold must be crossed, and I will move on. There is no time to lose.
The feeling of persistence and renewal that comes through is encouraging. Parts of this remind me of a practice learned long ago, that I need to remind myself constantly; accept negative thoughts, do not try to suppress them, - allow them their moment, then let them pass from you.
ReplyDeleteEven though we might be certain that across that threshold there is a peace that passes understanding, we must remain engaged in the here and now. That is the commitment we made as we began this life.
Hello Halle; Yes, it is so necessary to engage with, but not suppress, the darker side of ourselves. I find your comment very heartening; I had begun to feel my post was a little too down. Yet that honestly reflects my thoughts at present, and renewal doesn't take place in a vacuum.
DeleteI have been thinking much about you and your courage displayed over recent months and years, as well trials currently being worked through by absent friends. I never cease to be amazed at how my life seems to be guided and protected.
wise words, tom. i have given up on "the news" since they are nothing but a narrow, heavy-handedly curated slice of what is actually happening in the world. reading them is enough to make one give up entirely.
ReplyDeleteas an antidote, i've been reading this: http://www.futurecrunch.com.au/blog/
an attempt to show more than just a narrow (and all too often negative) slice of the world.
happy new year, dear friend, and as always, be well!
"As an antidote....." Well this may not be the miracle, but it could lead to one. I have started to skim this blogsite, and will read more deeply.
DeleteAnd a happy new year to you. Travel safely; you're never alone.
Hi Tom,
ReplyDeleteI’m reading a book at the moment entitled “Every time
I find the meaning of life, They Change it” by the philosopher Daniel Klein, who talks about the wisdom of the great philosophers on how to live. I am finding it very much in tune with your post, so I thought you might like to obtain a copy. The writer is a few years older than yourself but expresses his sentiment “Hankering for such ideas, late in the game as it may be, I still want to live my final years the best way I can.”
Philosophically his short treatises are all on the subject of how to live. Such serious commentary has gone out fashion in modernity, replaced by an obsession with epistemology and logic, but Klein reintroduces some thoughtful discussions, yet maintains a light hearted almost youthful approach.
There are quotes by many you would be familiar with, and a witty engaging commentary on each that end up posing more questions than answers but in my view it is a great read.
Best wishes
Thank you for this, Lindsay. It looks like a fascinating read, a book I will be sure to order.
DeleteMay I wish you and your family all the very best for the coming year.
Our senior cat seems to be on a determined mission to die. She has eaten hardly anything for two weeks now yet she continues to survive. When I touch her it is as if her fur covers wire coat hangers. She coughs a lot and does little more than lie around, growing smaller and smaller. Yet, she responds to a few old stimuli, like when I sit at the foot of the bed. She will get up and come to me for a bit of very gentle petting. And she will still purr. Other than the violent coughing she does not seem to be in distress.
ReplyDeleteIt is a very difficult thing to see a pet/member-of-the-family this way.
I wonder, if she thinks, what she thinks and if she has any plans for her eventual demise.
Sorry, Tom, for this digression.
Ah Bruce, I'm so sorry to hear the news of your cat, but glad that you told me. I know something of what it must feel like having lost Molly in 2014. And we still miss her.
DeleteI have never been in any doubt about the deep love you have for the feline members of your family. And I am equally certain that, in their own way, that love is returned. I think it possible that animals deal with natural death better than we do. They do seem to accept the inevitable well enough.
I don't know whether it helps, but when Mol died I was so relieved that it was Lucy and I who carried the pain of grief and loss, not Molly. All we could do in the end was to be with her, and let her feel our loving touch on her body - she was virtually blind by that time. For the last two years of her life, I did little but hold her.
There was no need to be sorry that you talked about your cat. Whenever the ultimate sad event takes place, it will be difficult for you and SWMBO. There is value in talk. I wish you the best that life can offer in the coming weeks and months.
We enjoy when life is easy, we grow when it's hard. hoping this will spur a new age of fighting for civil rights and justice, bursting complacency. Sad and painful we couldn't have just grown without such damaging struggle.
ReplyDeleteQuite so, Zhoen, although I often think we tackle the world's pressing needs from the wrong direction. If we truly took to heart the need to address our own selves, and get things right within, I suspect many of the world's ills would disappear. How can one truly love, yet at the same time treat others as lesser creatures than ourselves? Yes, the task of sorting out our own attitudes and behaviours is difficult, but the rewards are more than worth it. I'm sure you must have already discovered this, thus am I preaching to the converted.
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DeleteI think that the angriest and most rigid people are the ones who most needed, and didn't get, real and generous love as children. They've ossified in their hatred, with no idea how much they're missing.
DeleteOh, dear Zhoen, how right that is. Thankfully there is a cure, a healing process that can be experienced. In my case it was a descent into the insane behaviour exhibited by those who live with an alcoholic partner or family member, and insist their behaviour is normal.....and altruistically loving! How wrong I was. I have talked about my spiritual recovery elsewhere. As you say, I had "no idea how much I was missing," until I 'got real' as they say, and found the love of the generous-hearted woman who is my current and second wife. Thank you for this timely reminder, friend.
DeleteDear Agnieszka; I have lost count of the number of times I have heard the opening sentence, or something very similar, in your follow-up comment. Blaming others is a sure sign of inner denial.
DeleteI see that Beth has iterated perfectly what I would say in response to your comment.
oh, i know tom. i would never say there's nothing that i need to hear, and that i am in the only correct state of mind. it's a dangerous road to walk and i try to remind myself that i need to keep an open ear/mind/heart as much as the next guy.
DeleteThank you, Tom. I agree: we have to start and re-start, within ourselves, every single day, every minute. It's so easy to look elsewhere and lay blame, but as was pointed out long ago: ""Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" I'm not much for quoting the Bible, but we have never, ever, learned this lesson, as social media confirms every day.
ReplyDeleteHello Beth; I think you have beautifully rounded off the mood of these latter comments. I can add nothing to what you have said, except "thank you."
DeleteThe longtime maxim of the media has been 'if it bleeds, it leads'. No wonder then that we feel ourselves overwhelmed by bad news in this culture of continuous information. Although I'm not naive enough to believe bad things haven't always been happening somewhere, what's different these days is that those things seem to be happening constantly with the concomitant problem of never knowing the full result of one before the next tragic event vies for our attention. We must be careful, though, not to judge one another too harshly because what we read may not necessarily be true, but simply headline worthy, shocking and click worthy.
ReplyDeleteSad tidings from those close to us is always a worry and once we get older those letters that arrive at the end of the year may not always bring tidings of good cheer. Then we can act or react in whatever way is appropriate to the circumstance. Sometimes all we can offer is the solace of compassion.
Best wishes for the new year, Tom. Hopefully, it will be a boring one for us all. :)
Sometimes it is good to be told something we already know, to be reminded. I think it may have something to do with 'being in company with......' And I do enjoy the company of people who comment here. So thank you for the above reminder, and perhaps in 2017 boring will be beautiful.
DeleteHear hear! And thank you for all of this, Tom. Love and blessings to you and Lucy for the New Year, every day and night of it.
ReplyDeleteThank you young Natalie. And all the very best to you in the coming year from us all three. :)
DeleteI think you've got it right, Tom. We are here between two points of non-existence and the best hope of enjoying the interval is to help others enjoy theirs. Roughest work one can undertake, but rewarding as rewards propagate beyond us.
ReplyDelete