For those who may not have heard of Miss Armstrong, she is an ex-nun. Whilst living in her convent she discovered that she had a real problem with God in that no communication developed between them. I have to say that there were moments when reading her account of her search for herself, when my heart bled for her. In saying that, I realise that I was also bleeding for myself, for my own early experiences of living in a 'born again', Victorian household. As I have indicated elsewhere, I never stopped believing that there had to be some experience or process [but never a some-thing or some-one] in this vast universe that could be called God. I simply turned away from what seemed in those earlier years to be an irrelevance in my life.
For some time now I feel as if I have been living in a spiritual desert. These are difficult times to live through even though they are also times when something profound is taking place at a deep level. All sorts of experiential clues arise to nudge one towards a course of action that needs to be undertaken. "The Spiral Staircase," and even a television series of space fantasy, were two such clues that I discovered. But pride of place has to be given to the book, the television series playing a secondary, but strong, supporting role.
As I have already said, I find myself in a place of wanting. I want to continue to write here about matters that are of prime interest to me; matters of the psycho-spiritual. I also find myself in a place of forbidding. Deeply spiritual experience needs to be guarded and explored most gently in secret and silence. I have in the past tried to share much that I have experienced, because behind those experiences I have felt a new reality far beyond the realism of the material world. Now I need to move on from that approach. Where this new phase of my inner journey will lead I know not. I only know that lonely and fearsome though the way may be, it must be attempted. The process of renewal allows for nothing less.
As it is unlikely that I will post again before Christmas, may I wish for the very best to all my readers for the coming festivities, whether they be a celebration of a Christian festival, any other religious festival of which I am unaware, or simply a pagan celebration of midwinter.